The Goal

Talking about my goals, no, actually writing them down will help me make it happen. I have always thought about losing the weight. Even tried to do it a few times. At one point accepted that this was who I was and then promptly threw up. So now...here I am, the non-technical person on a blog. Spilling personal stuff and publishing it on the internet. Go figure. Most of the time, I think that names will be changed to protect the innocent. Unless you really piss me off.

I was always a thin person, never stick skinny (except for that brief period after a devastating break up and before the pole dancing career choice - but that's another story). I consider myself on the short side, although 5'6" is average height. So I pretty much was able to maintain about 120lbs. Then baby came along, divorce, illness, remarriage and a few years later...I weigh 2lbs more than the day I delivered her. Nice.

About a year ago, I weighed myself at Costco because I didn't own a scale. I was shocked when it said I was 182lbs. All my friends said, "No way," and, "you hide it really well," but these people didn't know me when I was hot with a capitol "H". A few even said, "I wish I looked as good as you do." Which made me feel a little better, but still quite disgusted with myself.

My husband doesn't make it easy either. He's tall, thin, and athletic, can pretty much eat whatever he wants, but primarily sticks to hot dogs, burgers, plain pasta - like with Ragu no chunks, a few vegetables and Caesar salads. I swear, he eats like a toddler. And he married an Italian girl that loves to cook! Most men would be thrilled with it, but he'd rather go out. We have a handful of acceptable restaurants (in a town with 100's) Chipotle, Chili's, Panda Express, Wendy's and a great Mexican place down the street. Anything that diverts from those and he can't find anything to eat. So with a few years of eating out at least 3 times a week, the weight creeped on. Not that I'm blaming him, I totally blame myself.

I compensated not being able to fit into cute clothes by overloading my kid with more clothing than her closet can hold. She is one well-dressed skinny kid! She looks great in everything she puts on. When was the last time I tossed on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt without struggling to pull them over my hips? 1998 that's when.

I suppose that brings you all up to date. I did end up losing a few pounds from that scary day at Costco, down to 174, not exactly sure how I did it. Mostly not eating and drinking coffee. So that was where I was a week ago...oh, you thought there wasn't going to be a happy ending? Not a chance, I started on the Celebrity Fit Club guy's (Dr. Ian) diet, Extreme Fat Smash Diet. Today is actually Day 1, Cycle 2. and as of weigh in this morning (so 7 days into it) I'm at 168. So that works for me.